If you’re in, be in. If you’re out, be out.

The worst thing you can do is be physically in a thing — a relationship, an event, but be emotionally out.

This is related to the maxim “don’t worry about things you can’t change.” It’s also: “don’t worry about things you won’t change”. If you’re going to be in the bar, and you won’t change it, then don’t worry about it. Don’t resist it. Find a way to enjoy it. But if you’re unwilling to do that, then leave.

Most of all: don’t stay in the thing, but be emotionally resistant. You’re going to die. That’s no way to live.

Begin to track this. How emotionally invested are you? Are your actions and your emotions aligned? If not, good noticing. Now, what can you do?